West River Aug. 13th 1862
My own dearest Father
The blow has at
last fallen, like a clap of thunder from
a cloudless sky. When I left home I was
undecided as to which course I would
pursue. Since, however, we have been
down here, we have, upon consultation
decided upon taking a step which
will for a long time, separate your
son from you all, and perhaps
forever. I have for a long time
deemed that I was pursuing a
course that concurred both with
respect & principle The “Cause
of the South” has always you
know, had my heartfelt sympathies
I have now determined to give
them my active support. I am
fully impressed with the dan
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ger & discomfort that attends the
step, but I have resolved to take it
Whenever in life (as now) duty–
mere convenience
imperative duty & enclination
incline to two deff essentially & ra-
dically different courses , I shall never hes-
itate which to follow. Such is
now the case, duty–I feel, as well
as a feeling of self-respect, compels[?]
me to a step, which will banish
me from a home of comfort &
plenty, a home of comfort &
plenty, a home where I have
never received aught but kindness
& friendly offices. But I go, and
although I may never see you again
yet I know I carry with me
blessing &
a paternal feeling as well as
the best wishes for my safety, We
have determined, very suddenly,
upon taking this step, therefore
you will have to excuse the
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penmanship & orthography, I have
scarcely time to write you at all
much less in a manner I should
otherwise have done. And now
Father upon a subject which
has given me a great deal of
uneasiness for a long time. I
may have in an unguarded mo-
ment said & acted things of
which I have been ashamed &
for which I now ask your
forgiveness It has never been
for a want of respect for thee
No I have respected thee only
as a dutiful son can do, and
only regret I could not remain
long enough with you to repay
you. But I hope that when these
gloomy war clouds shall have
cleared away, and the rays
of an undimmed political sun
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shall once once more bless our Country
& may then be permitted to return
to the bosom of a fond family, al-
though it may not be with honors be
stowed upon me, yet feeling that
proud consciousness which always
follows duty performed. You
know
[the next nine lines inked through]
I hope you will excuse
this writing as I am in a great
hurry. Give my love to all the
family and Kiss them every one
for me. Tell them when I have
gone and also to pray for me.
from you devoted & affectionate
Son
Samuel
I will of course write
to you and give you the
directions—-
Lt. Samuel Thomas McCullough, Co. d 2nd Battalion, Maryland Infantry
MSS 2907